you think i don't think about my studies at all? about what a complete flop i am right now? it's on my mind constantly, screaming inside my mind, driving me crazy. i start to study and there's that voice, screaming even louder, reminding me that i'm such a failure. even though i constantly try to block out that voice, it's futile no matter how much i continue studying. the only way to block it out was to play, was to run away from all my troubles. it doesn't work now. i start to slack and there's that voice again. "YOU ARE A COMPLETE FAILURE MABELLINE ANG! WHAT A USELESS BITCH!" it says. i can't run away from it anymore. even so, i continue giving excuses for not studying. procrastinating day and night. i can't sleep, i start to binge, not caring a single fuck about my health. my boyfriend isn't exactly supportive. my dad is so concerned, but i have tried to change. i have tried, and tried, and tried. i've said a gazillion times, "i must fucking change for the better."
i don't want to be a failure anymore. i don't care what it takes even if it means cutting off all ties with those who are harming me, those who are in my way of my grades. fuck you all bitches out there. it's just one and a half years more. hang in there.
