fourhundredandfourteen.

i wonder if i ever asked you to quit, will you?

fourhundredandthirteen.

it sucks that i can't tell others to stop smoking cause i'm a smoker too. i swore to myself once i'll never touch cigarettes cause it was because of it that my grandfather died. i saw my own loved one get lung infection. and now, my gf's dad is suffering from lung cancer. smoking kills. it pains me to see the ppl around me smoke. and i'm trying to cut down too. honestly? i'll never touch another cigarette if it means i'm hurting others.

fourhundredandtwelve.

was surprised when moo came to me and asked if i could draw a flower bouquet for a cake for his pastor. haha anyway, thought i couldn't do it but it turned out really well :D



i'm just scared that it's not v suitable for a cake :(

fourhundredandeleven.

ah, the sweet taste of blood and the sharp throbbing pain is just so alluring.

fourhundredandten.

ok mabellineang. if you don't want to study hard for yourself, then do it for others. for your future husband, so that it won't be too stressing on him to earn more. and for your future parents-in-law. to impress them :D

fourhundredandnine.

SML!

pa: (looks at me and smiles) heard you got bf ah?

me: (looks at him shocked, keeps quiet, look down)

pa: (pestering) what's his name?

me: daryl

pa: senior ah?

me: er.. ya

pa: studying same subs?

me: er... no.

pa: then what subjects?

me: er.. (thinks for quite long) business stream (PARTLY TRUE AH)

pa: ohh. not bad. so this yr a lvls ah?

me: ya.

pa: in december?

me: no in november. (quickly runs away)

♥darylcher has somehow became a 19 year old who is taking his A levels Business Course in Millennia Institute this year :)

fourhundredandeight.

fml.

MABELLINE(: says:

*my god so much hair dropping

*i think i got cancer

*:P

-=|Lonez|=- says:

*T_T

MABELLINE(: says:

*whycry?

*you can finally get rid of your violent baby :P

-=|Lonez|=- says:

*what cancer ==

*i rather not get rid of u

*cause i can use u to vent my frustrations :P

fourhundredandseven.

pep talk to me.

you should learn how to appreciate life for what it is, instead of thinking about what it could be, and how much more perfect it can be. because honestly, you have almost everything that makes your life perfect. parents who love and care about you, a sister who is always there and is always supportive, friends who love you so and a guy who loves you and sacrificed so much for you. what's more to want? complain that you're poor? nonsense. you are so very rich in the sense that you have love in your life and that they're almost always there when you need them. who needs material things when you have those? you don't see what's so perfect in front of you, instead you choose to see everything so imperfectly and want more. isn't love enough for you? isn't there not enough love already in your life?

you're constantly comparing. that this is better, that can be much better. hello? focus on the present and the future instead of getting so caught up in the past. so what if you have such miserable memories in the past. so what if you experienced so much pain in the past? isn't NOW making it better? why must you keep thinking about it? trauma? don't bullshit. it isn't worth spending your energy thinking about the past when you have the present and future waiting for you to embrace. that's all it matters.

don't keep thinking that you're a failure. PSLE and O levels were total screw ups. but you can't change the past. what are you doing now? nothing to change your attitude towards life. instead you berate yourself time and time again for the mistakes you made in the past but do nothing else. learn from those mistakes and CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. you think you're so charmed that you can scrape through everything? please. this is A levels. a whole new different ball game. it's the toughest hurdle ever in your education. pass this with flying colours and everyone will be proud of you and it'll be easier for you to go through any other hardships in education. so what if you're in MI? didn't you say before that you actually wonder how some of your friends came to MI when they're so smart? doesn't mean you're in MI means you're stupid. hello? you are smart for goodness sake. don't let anyone else, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.

start loving and respecting yourself before you learn how to do same unto others. grow up girl.

end.

fourhundredandsix.

"One day you’re going to want that specific girl. That girl that knew she wasn’t perfect, but tried to be for you. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you and love you the only way she knew she could but you wouldn’t let her. That girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. That girl who still can’t bring herself to hate you, even though you probably deserve it. That girl who saw past your pretty face and treasured parts of you that no one else appreciated. That girl who realizes she may never have your heart, but will carry the image of you in hers forever. And by the time you realize that’s the girl you’re looking for, she’ll be with the guy who already knew."