fourhundredandtwentyfive.

Hello, been so long since I've blogged.

First day of school today, also marks the start of my third year in MI. Surprisingly, I don't feel weird or awkward that I'm a retainee in a totally new environment. Good thing eh? The only difference is that the teachers will ask you more questions cause we're supposed to know. Found out that Organic Chem won't be taught this year, which is stupid because year 3 definitely would not be enough to cover all of it. They'd better start this year if not I'm going to complain.

Oh well, New Year's resolution? To not skip school on purpose this whole year. Think I can do it? ;)

fourhundredandtwentyfour.

I'm craving for a little stick of slow death.


Slowly bring that stick to my lips and suck.


Inhale the deadly smoke.


Smile as it blackens my throat and lungs.


Slow death.


Also known as...


Bliss.

fourhundredandtwentythree.

ambition is a disease

my favorite time of day is the time that goes by the fastest. does it pump my adrenaline to watch you leave? you gather your things and kiss my shoulder. you’re brave but i’m braver. the shower turns on and i fall back asleep to the sound of the water. i fall fast asleep until i feel you crawling back into bed, only in your plaid robe. i slide my fingers in the front and caress your smooth chest. i run my hand down to your stomach which i love to press my lips to. your robe is like another blanket and i snuggle up close. i fall fast asleep until i wake up to find myself snuggling to sheets. you’ve left again, and you always will. i lure you in because although i can withstand being alone, i can’t withstand being away from you.

from tumblr. username: spindrift

fourhundredandtwentytwo.

a good day out with parents today. in a v good mood! :D shopped for mum and dad's mattress at robinsons. mattress coming next tues :)

ate mutton bryani at 313@somerset :D really spicy but felt good.

i can't wait for tuesday. no, not because of the mattress (come on i'm not the one who's sleeping in it.) but because i get to see my babe and go out with baby :D

anyway, baking session tmr :D

fourhundredandtwentytwo.

i'm sick of this life.
(i'm sick of needing you.)

fourhundredandtwentyone.

Mabel means:

1. Means beautiful in french, therefore most are beautiful, great in bed and would make a pornstar look ridiculous, usually got a great physique and a gorgeous face. Sometimes called a slut for being pretty. Even though people think of Mabel as a slut, Mabel never has more than one boyfriend at a go. Alot of boys want to be with Mabel, but she goes for the boy who she likes. 2. A woman typically of jewish decent who is extremely bossy and controlling and has a tendency to be a pain in the ass. She's very high maintenence and has to act like she's all that and to assert herself as being the one in control. She's basically got that "Queen Bee" mentality to where it's all about her and if she doesnt get what she wants she makes all kinds of problems for those around her. She will often control the man she's with to the degree that over time he'll become a pushover to her which makes it easier for her to control him. Usually, high end jewish women behave in this manner as nagging and just all out annoying. Generally, Mabels act like bitches so they tend to be short tempered. 3. n; synonym for satan. other synonyms include: Beelzebub, Old Scratch, Lucifer, The Devil, Evil Incarnate, Thief of Souls. Mabeline means: 1. Most beautiful Asian looking Ecuadorian in the whole wide world who is random and artsy with a low self esteem. She loves hello kitty, the color pink, monster energy drinks accompanied by m&m's with peanuts, squares, sunflowers, Fight Club (the movie), tuna with rice, and oatmeal raisin cookies, she's very random and she's so hood. The girl who gets gully with grown ass men when they bump into her on the streets, the girl who will kick anyone’s ass for you. A true friend :) I think she's perfect. So unique you wouldn't believe she existed. My bbylahh, Mi muñequita, My BFFL!, my Mabeline. <3

HAHAHA! funny or WHAT?! too bad don't have my name exactly eh? but all close la HAHAH


credits from www.urbandictionary.com

fourhundredandtwenty.

:P

fourhundredandnineteen.

i can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you♥

fourhundredandseventeen.

damn my eye allergy. i'm feeling so pissed right now plus i have so much work to do tonight. it's bothering me non stop; being pain and itchy. and God, i need some motivation and strength to ignore this itch and do my work and revision. hello? it's like about 3.5 weeks more to promos 2 and what the hell am i doing now?! sigh :(

i need you baby.

fourhundredandsixteen.

i'm waiting for the day when we have our own apartment together, when we go to bed with our arms around each other, the last and first thing i see is your face. maybe in the middle of the night when i can't sleep, i shall slowly wake you up and we'll have a little fun. in the morning when both of us are awake, take a long shower together and get ready for work. i'll make a simple breakfast to start out off our day and kiss you goodbye when we leave. dinner will be waiting for you at home if i'm not too busy. think of all the fun we could have when we're alone in our apartment. no boundaries, no restrictions, we can do anything we want.

i can't wait♥

fourhundredandfifteen.

My thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved

I can only live wholly with you or not at all -

Be calm my life, my all. Only by calm consideration of

our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together.

Oh continue to love me, never misjudge the most faithful

heart of your beloved.

Ever thine.

Ever mine.

Ever ours.

fourhundredandfourteen.

i wonder if i ever asked you to quit, will you?

fourhundredandthirteen.

it sucks that i can't tell others to stop smoking cause i'm a smoker too. i swore to myself once i'll never touch cigarettes cause it was because of it that my grandfather died. i saw my own loved one get lung infection. and now, my gf's dad is suffering from lung cancer. smoking kills. it pains me to see the ppl around me smoke. and i'm trying to cut down too. honestly? i'll never touch another cigarette if it means i'm hurting others.

fourhundredandtwelve.

was surprised when moo came to me and asked if i could draw a flower bouquet for a cake for his pastor. haha anyway, thought i couldn't do it but it turned out really well :D



i'm just scared that it's not v suitable for a cake :(

fourhundredandeleven.

ah, the sweet taste of blood and the sharp throbbing pain is just so alluring.

fourhundredandten.

ok mabellineang. if you don't want to study hard for yourself, then do it for others. for your future husband, so that it won't be too stressing on him to earn more. and for your future parents-in-law. to impress them :D

fourhundredandnine.

SML!

pa: (looks at me and smiles) heard you got bf ah?

me: (looks at him shocked, keeps quiet, look down)

pa: (pestering) what's his name?

me: daryl

pa: senior ah?

me: er.. ya

pa: studying same subs?

me: er... no.

pa: then what subjects?

me: er.. (thinks for quite long) business stream (PARTLY TRUE AH)

pa: ohh. not bad. so this yr a lvls ah?

me: ya.

pa: in december?

me: no in november. (quickly runs away)

♥darylcher has somehow became a 19 year old who is taking his A levels Business Course in Millennia Institute this year :)

fourhundredandeight.

fml.

MABELLINE(: says:

*my god so much hair dropping

*i think i got cancer

*:P

-=|Lonez|=- says:

*T_T

MABELLINE(: says:

*whycry?

*you can finally get rid of your violent baby :P

-=|Lonez|=- says:

*what cancer ==

*i rather not get rid of u

*cause i can use u to vent my frustrations :P

fourhundredandseven.

pep talk to me.

you should learn how to appreciate life for what it is, instead of thinking about what it could be, and how much more perfect it can be. because honestly, you have almost everything that makes your life perfect. parents who love and care about you, a sister who is always there and is always supportive, friends who love you so and a guy who loves you and sacrificed so much for you. what's more to want? complain that you're poor? nonsense. you are so very rich in the sense that you have love in your life and that they're almost always there when you need them. who needs material things when you have those? you don't see what's so perfect in front of you, instead you choose to see everything so imperfectly and want more. isn't love enough for you? isn't there not enough love already in your life?

you're constantly comparing. that this is better, that can be much better. hello? focus on the present and the future instead of getting so caught up in the past. so what if you have such miserable memories in the past. so what if you experienced so much pain in the past? isn't NOW making it better? why must you keep thinking about it? trauma? don't bullshit. it isn't worth spending your energy thinking about the past when you have the present and future waiting for you to embrace. that's all it matters.

don't keep thinking that you're a failure. PSLE and O levels were total screw ups. but you can't change the past. what are you doing now? nothing to change your attitude towards life. instead you berate yourself time and time again for the mistakes you made in the past but do nothing else. learn from those mistakes and CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. you think you're so charmed that you can scrape through everything? please. this is A levels. a whole new different ball game. it's the toughest hurdle ever in your education. pass this with flying colours and everyone will be proud of you and it'll be easier for you to go through any other hardships in education. so what if you're in MI? didn't you say before that you actually wonder how some of your friends came to MI when they're so smart? doesn't mean you're in MI means you're stupid. hello? you are smart for goodness sake. don't let anyone else, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.

start loving and respecting yourself before you learn how to do same unto others. grow up girl.

end.

fourhundredandsix.

"One day you’re going to want that specific girl. That girl that knew she wasn’t perfect, but tried to be for you. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you and love you the only way she knew she could but you wouldn’t let her. That girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. That girl who still can’t bring herself to hate you, even though you probably deserve it. That girl who saw past your pretty face and treasured parts of you that no one else appreciated. That girl who realizes she may never have your heart, but will carry the image of you in hers forever. And by the time you realize that’s the girl you’re looking for, she’ll be with the guy who already knew."