last night i had a dream. nope, not a nightmare, but not a sweet dream either. it was something...different. something i have never thought of. something which made me think of everything.
i was standing in a really huge, empty room. with glaring white walls. it seemed like light was illuminating from them. i was blinded, momentarily. i couldn't stand looking at the intensity of the white. i looked away. i was afraid. i closed my eyes tight. i was afraid. i heard noises. i was afraid. and then i heard familiar voices, and i opened my eyes. there, on every space on the walls, was a picture. and these pictures seem to be moving. i looked at the one closest to me. it was a hospital room. a mother is carrying her new born child. a father is standing by the bed. i looked closer. the looks on their faces, was that of pure joy and happiness. i looked away, jealous that i have never seen those looks before. jealous that they were so truly happy because of that one baby.
i moved on to the next picture. i saw a father beating up a small girl. caning her, screaming at her. i looked closer and i saw another girl, an older one, trying to protect who i assumed to be her little sister. i looked away, because it reminds me so strongly of my family. i was choked up. i felt nauseous. i moved on.
kindergarten grad night. i see a young girl receiving her prize. she came in top. i see her parents and her grandmother applauding her, the pride on their faces were so evident. yes, this scene was familiar too. i looked closer, i stared at her parents. i jumped back. i stared hard at the girl. and i realised it was...me.
i started crying. i walked on. i looked at all those pictures. everyone of them was a memory of me. and some, memories of my parents and my sister. i couldn't stop crying. i saw, i felt, i cried. i couldn't stand looking at those pictures. but something kept me going. something was pushing me to move forward. i couldn't control anything. i screamed.
i woke up. shivering. my face was wet with tears.
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