MABELLINE(:: January 2010

Thursday, January 28, 2010

threehundredandninetytwo.

"Don't you dare question where I was. I've told you time and time again, I'm working! Why won't you ever believe me?"

The door slammed and she heard her Mum crying. She didn't dare go out, afraid of what she would see. She had heard this fight every time her Dad came back late. It always ended with Dad walking out on them, coming back only when both parties had cooled down. And that usually lasts for a few weeks tops.

She was a single child living in a single-income family. Dad worked as an assistant director of one of the largest company in the region. His job required him to work late hours and have many overseas trips. Mum is a stay-home mum, but have a lot of charity events to organise and was always dressed to the nines no matter what time it was. Her family was one of those model families which looks perfect on the outside. With a designer house and a large front yard, it was the envy of many people who passed by.

Little did they know, how much blood was shed in the house.

She came home one day to find Dad sitting in the living room. He looked up as she came in and invited her to sit down. She walked over tentatively, smelling something suspicious. Her Dad looked into his hands, as if there was something interesting about it. He stayed like this for awhile, then he looked up.

"Your Mum is pregnant."

"Really?" Her face lit up.

"Yes," he paused for a moment. "But we have decided to get a divorce."

She looked at him with a half-smile. She expected him to laugh and say that it was all a joke. He looked serious, apologetic even. She felt like hurting him but she got up and walked to her bedroom. She slammed her door and pretended she did not hear anything. She got out her mp3 and plugged in her earpiece. She lay on her bed with her eyes closed but all she could see was Dad repeating those lines to her. She turned up the volume till her ears hurt but it doesn't seem to drown out his voice. She felt hurt, betrayed, and felt a sudden protective feeling for her new sibling. No way she was going to allow her parents hurt him or her like they had hurt her. She ripped out her earpiece and sprang out of the bed with a sudden rush of adrenaline. She stormed to the living room and starting screaming.

"Why? One might think that with a new child coming you both will just kiss and make up. Is it so hard to stay together? Is it so hard for both of you to trust each other? Mum loves you, Dad. Don't you get it? She cares enough for you and that's why she's been doing what she's doing. You didn't give me a proper life. Are you going to make that same mistake with your second child?!"

Her Dad looked shocked. She felt a really warm feeling of triumph, then she heard a sob from behind her. She whirled around and saw her Mum standing there. She started to walk forward but her Mum backed away and went into her room. She turned back to her Dad and to her surprise, tears were running unchecked down his face. She didn't know what to feel anymore. She just stood there rooted.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and went to hug her Dad.

"I'm sorry, Honey. We just can't stay together anymore."

She broke away and ran out of the house.

When she came back in the middle of the night, she found her Mum sitting at the dining table with her hands around a steaming cup of tea.

"Come here, Honey."

She walked over and sat down.

"Honey, listen to me. Your father and I, we really can't stay together anymore. And there's something else I have to tell you. This baby, it's not your father's."

She stared at her Mum in disbelief. She felt angry all of a sudden.

"All those times you accused Dad of cheating on you, you were the one doing the cheating all this while?!"

"I'm sorry Honey," her eyes started glistening with fresh tears and she looked pleadingly at her daughter.

"Stop it Mum. I'm sick of seeing your fake tears. Now that I think about it, yea, it's better this way. Live your perfect life with your new man and child."

The next minute, the main door slammed shut.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hmm, not very well done but yea, just suddenly thought of this family and started writing without much plan. oh well.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

threehundredandninetyone.

sometimes we got to suffer in order to taste the sweetness of life.

threehundredandninety.

went to jp last sunday with mum to get my heels. my first ever heels in my life ok. hahaha! got a top and a skirt too :D

look at dear's lighter LOL papa lighter and baby lighter :P

hanwei's bday present. it's a sketchbook and this is the design for the cover. yea, plain but it turned out nice (:

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

threehundredandeightynine.

she was lying flat on the cold white bed. the nurse forced her legs open and strapped her feet down. she heard the snap of the rubber gloves. the nurse turned the light into her eyes, forcing her eyes shut. a strong antiseptic smell came into the room. she started trembling. she heard the doctor say something, but she couldn't hear. hands were stroking her. she squirmed. she started to cry out. the nurse was by her side, stroking her head. and she felt the worst pain ever. she started crying. she felt the doctor's fingers exploring her insides. she felt like dying. she couldn't take the pain. and as sudden as the pain had came, her hand was out.

she felt humiliated.

exposed.

invaded.

Monday, January 25, 2010

threehundredandeightyeight.

Chantal Kreviazuk - Feels Like Home

Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself

Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms

There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast

Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been

And how long I've been so alone

And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along

And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark street

And a siren wails in the night

But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me

And I can almost see, through the dark there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me

And how long I've waited for your touch

And if you knew how happy you are making me

I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

Sunday, January 17, 2010

threehundredandeightyseven.

so my blog is quite dead now.

oh well,

can't be helped can it?

my baby has no more wisdom and apparently after the tooth was removed his gum had menses :P and before tt it had pms that's why giving him alot of trouble.

yes my dear, i do love you. and that's why i'm posting that up here instead of your fb wall :D ♥

Thursday, January 14, 2010

threehundredandeightysix.

cause sometimes we look at ourselves in the mirror and not recognise ourselves,

instead we see an ugly stranger.

but we must not lose this belief,

that out there, someone sees you for what you are and finds that

you are simply the most beautiful thing in the world.

threehundredandeightyfive.

heehee.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

threehundredandeightyfour.

happy birthday evelyn♥!

met up with evelyn at jp and went to have twister fries at mac. decided to eat at jp's ambush instead cause i was scared that taka's will be crowded. chix cheese with rosti, baby calamari and queen scallop. nice! :D got a hoe too :P

bought macarons from bakerzin! thanks evelyn :D very nice. my first time trying LOL

train-ed over to city hall. didn't meet joalynn in the end. walked around and went to conrad's to get her birthday cake. went to marina square AND I GOT MY WALLET FROM FOURSKIN! :D which is really funny cause the last time i went there, there wasn't a single one left, and today the colour they have left is RED♥. must be my lucky day huh :D

her sis fetched me to jp and i bought some stuffs before coming home.

well, school's starting tmr and i'm really really nervous. haha. new class, though got some S7 friends♥ :D i've got a new bag, new wallet and now what's missing will be my pencil case :P

yea, i DO miss you so.

threehundredandeightythree.

cause when i look at you, the only thing i see is love.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

threehundredandeightytwo.

went to superbowl mac to study with D today. ok, more appropriately, i watched him study. i stoned most of the time. seriously can't concentrate -_-

walked over to TJ's market/food centre and we ate stingray, kangkong and fried egg :D enjoyed it.

well, he's going over to kukup tmr and me? i'm going over to taka to celebrate evelyn's birthday. ambush! (:

i'm really glad i've met some people in my life, namely D, my best buddy and cindy baby (: cause you guys are the awesomest bestest companions/listeners/friends (:

threehundredandeightyone.

She was at a convenience store, grabbed something to eat and looked around for it. Ah, there it is, just right beside the counter. She glanced around, making sure there wasn't anyone in the store. Yes, it was empty except for that old man sitting behind the counter who was watching her every move. She walked tentatively to the counter and tried to look nonchalant as she picked out the cheapest.

She was at home. Her heart pounded so fiercely she could hear it. Thank goodness no one was at home. It made things easier. She tried to calm herself down. Breathe in slowly and deeply, she told herself. She stood rooted at the spot until she felt her heartbeat slow down. She sauntered into the bathroom carrying it.

She was at the bathroom. Tears were running down as she stared at the cursed thing. She looked at herself in the mirror. Tear-stained cheeks. Her face was messed up with black streaks running down. She looked like a freak. She starts to laugh. She stops. She curled herself up and started crying. She couldn't even stop to take a breath.

She was in her room. She had finally calm down. She picked up her phone and called him. One ring. Two rings. His familiar voice came over the phone. I'm pregnant, she said. Silence. A few minutes passed and then, she heard a click, then a dial tone. She was stunned, and the crying started.

She was on her bed when she heard the doorbell. She lay there, refusing to move. The doorbell persisted on. She got up slowly and strolled to the door. She opened it, and there he was kneeling on her porch.

"I love you. Marry me."

threehundredandeighty;;drug addict.

threehundredandseventynine.

threehundredandseventyeight.

beware of ebay scams

Friday, January 8, 2010

threehundredandseventyseven;;this is so me.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.

I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle.

But if you can't handle me at my worst,

then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

Thursday, January 7, 2010

threehundredandseventysix;;embryonic journey.

don't this look like something?

threehundredandseventyfive.

this is supposed to describe dear.

but erm... i can't resist the urge to bite you leh.

how?

threehundredandseventyfour.

I'M HOME!!! :D

went over to tiong bahru to eat dinner. BAN MIAN DRY!!! sucks by the way. still cannot beat coffee united one. i have decided to bring baby there to try it one day after school :D

after dinner had nothing to do so we went over to cold rock cafe to eat ice cream!!

tiramisu + cheesecake + graham crackers = awesome!

yeah, i know it's in my plurk but it's just so nice i had to repeat it :P

oh yes, did i mention that baby was SUPER HIGH while walking to holland V? hahaha and he is the first person i know who can actually keep quiet all the way until i cannot take it LOL!

things to do with baby: ban mian at CU, walk from jp to home, PRAWNING, drive around singapore :D, more to add. cause i don't wanna do anything without you (:

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

threehundredandseventythree.

at kap mac now. supposedly to study but here i am blogging. haha too bored alrdy la :x waiting impatiently for 6.30pm then going to sim to meet baby. dinner most prolly at tiong bahru with his friend :D

went to tampines yesterday to lunch with dear. salmon porridge at han's! my favourite :P acced dear to sch and i went to kap. went over to jp to watch movie. wanted sherlock holmes but it was selling fast. watched treasure hunter instead. sucky movie. seriously.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

threehundredandseventytwo.

baby said this pic describes me most.

I DISAGREE!

*pouts*

threehundredandseventyone.

cause i love the honesty and understanding that comes out from you when we talk.

buddy love always yeah?

threehundredandseventy.

cause i don't think winning is important as long as you have fun right?

Monday, January 4, 2010

threehundredandsixtynine;;i beg you.

this picture actually made me think about our lives and about how fortunate we are that we are living in modern singapore with a proper roof, proper clothes and proper food. we tend to take things for granted, that nothing like this will happen to us. but as we waste water, electricity, food, etc. we have never once stopped to think about the third world countries. some don't even have shelter above their heads.

don't you feel some heart-wrenching feeling when you see this picture?

i do.

easy for us to say.

difficult for us to do.

threehundredandsixtyeight.

went out with mum to shop today. went to hurs at jp and bought a dress and a top for new year~! p.s. saw xin yan anyway. she was sitting in front of me the whole time in the bus and i didn't even realised until we got down and she was walking far far away LOL yes, clever us.

bus-ed down to west coast plaza to find my shoes at nikefactorystore. tried on this super nice shoes and i realised it don't look so nice on me. so went to check and saw this really nice puma shoes. but too bad, no size. so we decided to go down to orchard.

ate jap noodles at taka :D walked ard then went over to check @ heeren. got my puma shoes :D

went to 313's uniqlo and forever21. bought some rings then bus-ed hm.

i am so tired.

it was fun though :D